Wow!  What a roller coaster.  Amanda & I are still texting about it!

MIA!!!  This is the “awe” portion of the show.  I have no recollection of Mia ever bringing the funk before.  Would not have predicted in a million years that her choreography would be to Stevie Wonder.  And it worked.  I really enjoyed this number.  It had all kinds of chess pieces moving at once, and it wasn’t one of those badly-lit hip-hop routines where you can only spot maybe one dancer’s face.  I felt like we got to see at least half of the dancers highlighted during the performance.  And did you notice?  Ade was strongly featured in the front, nailing his every bit - and I couldn’t see Brandon at all.  I was searching for him big time.  The drama continues!  Would sure love some background info on this situation.  Cat, can you help us out here?  (She blogs weekly about the show for ew.com now.)

CAT!!!  She rocked that white suit.  She has never looked better; what a stunner.  This was also “awe”-some.

Before we get to the results, I thought I’d mention the package that poked fun at Lil C (”Lil C’s Dictionary of Dance”) was laugh-out-loud funny.  The audience reaction shots were priceless.  Whoever edited this did a great job.  I think this season has really tapped into a lot of humor and fun.  (Last night’s “fun counter”, case in point.)  Lil C was a great sport, and proved he had no intention of watering down anything he says when he started going off on Ashley & Kupono when they found out they were in the bottom three later on.

But I’ll get to that.

In the comments of Amanda’s brilliant post yesterday, I predicted who would be in the bottom three and who would be going home.  Tonight, I was starting to think I was some kind of SYTYCD psychic.

Our first couples getting their news were Melissa/Ade (love!), Caitlyn/Jason, and Phillip/Jeanine.  I called Caitlyn & Jason, so it was fun to see MelAde safe so early on, and no surprise whatsoever to see Phillip/Jeanine safe.

Next round: Brandon/Janette, Jonathan/Karla, and Ashley/Kupono.  I had predicted that AshKup would be bottom three.  I was feeling pretty proud of my reality-tv-results-show-wisdom. 

** We interrupt this program with breaking news:  Ryan Kasprzak has just been given his second ticket to Vegas in the same calendar year!  The man’s LA audition was featured prominently in tonight’s program, making us love him even more.  After all, his tap routine was phenomenally good, sans whoopie cushion, and full of invention and, dare I say it, passion. 

I’m scared, though.  First of all, after everything this guy’s done for season 5, must he really do it all over again?  What else must he prove?  He’s not going to get hair plugs.  His style isn’t going to change.  He’s not getting any younger.  Are the judges going to set him (and us) up for disappointment, string him (and us) along, and make him (and us - okay, not so much) audition year after year, having no intention of ever putting him on the show?  I really hope this guy is guaranteed season 6.  Otherwise, it is going to be a cold, bitter pill to swallow.  I’m having Natalie flashbacks!!  Make it stop!!

…  Back to our regularly-paced results show**

Our final round of couples was Evan & Randi (who, in celebrating their safety, apparently busted the back of her outfit, proving that maybe unitards really are the way to go…), Vittolio & Asuka, and Kayla & Max.  This seemed like a no-brainer.  In my arrogance I had already written “bottom 3″ after V & A’s names and “safe” after K & M.  Um, WHAT?

SHOCKER!  I couldn’t believe it.  Vittolio and Asuka, he of great determination and heart and (fair) skill and she of the strangely unappealing personality made more people “pick up the phone” than Kayla (”I am universally beloved”) and Max (”I’m lucky to be paired with Kayla because I have the misfortune of resembling a 50-year old actor“).  Okay, so maybe that’s their problem.  I thought immediately that Max might have been to blame for their bottom-3 position.  Even though he endeared himself to me last night when they showed him cooking for the other dancers (aww!), he was was saddled with a really bad costume in a strange routine - after the voting audience had already seen one strange routine in the program courtesy of Sonya Tayeh, Ade, & Melissa.  And the comparison to Kevin Spacey must have only further alienated himself from the tween viewers.  Bye, Max, it was nice while it lasted.  Someone else will have to pick up the slack and make the cast their dinner. 

Right after that shock was handed to us in one of Cat’s little perforated envelopes, we were treated to a guest dancer.  And that is all I can say on the subject, because my mind was teeming with a combination of swirling red skirts and the realization that this week’s bottom 3 is entirely different from last week’s!

Which is both a fun and heartbreaking conclusion.  It’s fun because it keeps us guessing each week as to who will fall below.  It’s heartbreaking because this season’s cast is so darn solid that any little misstep will send you packing. 

And that leads me to the six who had to dance for their lives.  Real quick:

• Caitlyn’s was okay - but impressive enough for the judges.  I wanted her gone more than Ashley or Kayla.
• Ashley’s was not enough!  We have seen before that you never spend half of your solo time on the stairs.  (Faina!)  She was super adorable in her old-style getup/hair/makeup.  A younger Bebe Neuwirth.  I’m clearly not a tween if I know who Lilith and Kevin Spacey are!!
• Kayla’s was too much!  Ah, the ever-changing expectations of what dancing for your life should look like.  In season 3, Shauna saved herself from an earlier cut by doing pretty much what Kayla did tonight.  Nigel, you confound us all. 

And Ashley is given the boot.  She was disappointed but all smiles.  I loved her low-key demeanor and thought she had the talent to go a long way this season as a dark horse.

• Jason - excellent solo.  Nigel called it the best he’s ever seen in the series.  Uh, hello?  Not hardly.  (Go to 2:15 in that video, and then witness the only standing ovation from all 3 judges on a dancer’s solo I’ve ever seen.)  Perhaps he was speaking quickly and meant best so far this season.
• Kupono - no substance, more bling than Mary Murphy.  I really felt Max could sneak in with this one and this would be the end for Kup, but I was wrong.
• Max - very solid ballroom solo set perfectly to the last 30 seconds of “Footloose”.  Comparing this to Kupono’s, as well as remembering Max’s performance last night compared to Kupono’s, it seemed only fair that Max stay!  But Kupono’s personality won out in the end.  It’s a pity, really.  Ashley was the stronger of that pair last night and she is the one saying goodbye.

What did you think of tonight’s shocks & awes?  What kind of pairing will Kayla & Kupono make?  (Kayla certainly seemed upset by Max’s departure.)  Does Ryan Kasprzak need this show?  Is every week going to be this unpredictable?  Are you loving season 5 yet?  I think I just might be!!

First, who doesn’t love Cat in her little olive green dress with bedazzled microphone in hand? She looked beautiful this evening.

The opening “Heroes” number by Shane Sparks didn’t deliver. I am not sure if Shane is only giving 50%, because of ABCD or if it was the dancers. Did I miss him in the audience? Was he there? Last season he only choreographed one results show dance and never choreographed a couple. I am wondering if that will be the same case this season.

Let’s run through the results:

Kayla & Max - Safe! Who didn’t see that one coming? They are still on the hot tamale train.

Randi & Evan - Gosh darn it they better be safe. LOVE Evan!

Jeanine & Philip - They are safe too. I was totally psyched out by Cat. I thought maybe they would have been gone because they went first.

Caitlin & Jason - Of course they are safe. I didn’t like Caitlin at first, but she is certainly growing on me. I’ve decided that the Bollywood number is my favorite from last night.

Melissa & Ade - Safe! 5 couples are already safe. Melissa’s belching is disgusting. She may be the oldest, but she acts like the youngest. She is not my favorite dancer off stage. Don’t you think she looks like Diane Lane?

Ashley & Kupono - What is that lime green animal on his left shoulder? I’ve watched the crash test dance again and each time I dislike it more and more. It was cool the first time, but it gets old quickly.

Paris & Tony - In the bottom 3. No surprise there! My co-watcher, Wendy, was completed obsessed with Tony’s seatbelt belt. It was hideous! What the heck was he wearing!? Were those red Z Carvarci’s?

Asuka & Vitolio - They were my pick for the bottom to go home. Indeed they are in the bottom 3.

Jeanette & Brandon - I loved hearing her speak Spanish! Safe. I still could care less for Brandon.

Karla & Jonathan - Their cha-cha was not memorable in a sea of so many good dances and they are the last couple in the bottom 3.

The first special guest dancers is a couple doing the Tango. I didn’t get their names. While beautiful and I am sure technically impeccable my finger found the fast forward button.

Time for solos! Paris, Tony, Asuka, Vitolio, Karla, and Jonathan all Danced For Their Lives. Tony’s and Asuka’s Dance for Your Live’s were the weakest in my opinion. I always feel kinda bad for ballroom dancers who have to do a solo. They always look lame. Remember Pasha dancing with a mannequin? After Tony’s dance, I thought that the show better kick him off tonight if they want to remain a credible dance show, because Tony is one big joke.

Sean Kingston is next. The SYTYCD dancers seem way more talented than Sean’s back up dancers. It is sad to me that the SYTYCD contestants would only hope to get the job of a back up dancer after the show. Is this kind of dancing that they hope to be? I hope not.

Finally, the results. I always love the way that Nigel gives results. He seems to be honest and not snotty like another well known British judge. I like knowing if the judges were unanimous. He also points out tonight that their decision is based not just on the Dance For Your Life, but the contestants entire body of work on the show and casting for the rest of the season.

Paris is gone and so is Tony. I am a little sad to see Paris go. I think she is a combination of Lacey and Jamie from Season 3. Like Jaime, she went home way too early. Thank goodness, Tony is gone! Maybe he should have stuck with lacrosse.

Are you pleased with the results? Mia was M.I.A. this week. Did you miss her? Who is your new favorite after this week? Side note: Was anyone else digging the Glee commercials? I have listened to Don’t Stop Believin’ at least a hundred times this week. Maybe SYTYCD should dance to Glee’s Don’t Stop Believin’!